If I don't hold onto my willpower these will get increasingly sappy and cheesy... but today I have two secrets to tell you. And if you opened this early then just imagine me frowning and quickly put it back!! Patience patience like a Song Yunhyeong Advent. I'm doing my best to give you something like Christmas.
The first secret is that the other night when we drank is the first time I've had any alcohol in months. I spent a while as quite a drinker.. too much. Back right before we debuted, I just never did it at home. It feels really nice to do that with you, to enjoy actual wine instead of our pretend grape juice like that vlive we filmed~ to really indulge. I love that with you. Being hazy and warm all wrapped up in you. So that's precious to me more than you knew.
That might seem like just a random fact, I don't know. Not that wow of a secret, but it crossed my mind and I think that's how I work. I stumble into realizations and meaning erupts...
A second secret is something about you.
I still get butterflies when I walk into your room. When i crawl into your bed and you look at me in the dark.. i get butterflies and I see flashes of memory after memory colliding with the present and it all stacks up in the powerful force of you. Even now while I write this my heart's doing a dance, pressing against my ribs like it wants out..like it wants to chase you down and pet your hair like that silly little short animation you showed me the other day... I understood the heart in that video so well because dammit it's me.
Tonight in the jungle I don't have you here beside me, but I've got you in my chest. I've got the light in your eyes and every angle of your lips from a grin to a frown and all in between. So in my mind while I lay down on the humidity on the ground somewhere (I really don't now how this is going to go...I'll lay on a tree limb as far away from snakes as possible, something like that) I'll have a quiet talk with you.
Go outside, before you sleep tonight, and look up at the stars. I'll meet you there.